Hammock FAIL

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OMG!  OMG I love you so much!  Let’s go lounge in the hammock together! 

Ooops. 

(He was SUPPOSED to get in on the other end so that we’d be facing each other.  No, I did not clarify this, but he was supposed to read my mind, of course.  Isn’t that standard hammock protocol?)

(Also, where is my other flip-flop?)

(Doesn’t Bob Marley look concerned for my well-being?  Thanks, Bob!)

Where am I?  Mommy?  How do I get down?  Wha? 

(I was SO mortified at this point.  This kind of thing does not happen to me often, but when it does every fiber of my being aches with embarrassment.  Worst Part: We were with a bunch of people we had never met before, so now I’ll probably always be known as Hammock Girl.  Best Part: My social awkwardness for the remainder of the evening could be blamed on the resulting head injury.)

My life is over.

(I finally had to just roll over, flip around, dust myself off, and try to look cool.  Because I totally meant to do that.  What?)

(*SOB*)

(Also-also, I like how I managed to hold on to my bottle of water the whole time.  I about broke my neck and lost a shoe, but I’ll be DAMNED if gravity takes my water, too!  You’d have thought there was VODKA in there, or something.)

Guess I’m not getting laid tonight.

(Gee, sweetie, I’d love to [insert household chore or other daunting task], but my NECK hurts so much I just don’t think I can manage!)

The End.

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