Ah, my mood this afternoon was something to behold! A handful of small, stupid arguments with Drew that were 99.9% the sheer result of me acting BATSHIT CRAZY, slamming every door I walked through, snarfing excessive amounts of simple carbs (like these little bastards), sighing heavily while folding laundry, and rolling my eyes at everyone BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD AND I CAN’T HELP IT. Yes, that pretty much sums up my afternoon. In my defense, we did start the day out by going to The Wiggles Play clusterfuck Land. That would make anyone nuts. Pair the mental health hazards of spending over an hour there with either A) severe PMS or B) pregnancy, and it’s really just a recipe for disaster, I don’t care who ya are.
Sadly, I really don’t think I’m pregnant. Or, maybe I do, but I want to save myself from the potential disappointment that I’ll face when I pee on that little Target-brand early detection pregnancy test in a few days. Cross yo’ fingers. And toes. And… eyes. And legs. Unless you’re trying to get pregnant, of course.
::
Kek has been writing some motivational and inspirational posts on long-term weight loss and making permanent lifestyle changes over on her blog. Don’t take cues from me on healthy lifestyle change. Yes, I’ve cut back dramatically on my drinking since trying to get knocked up, but eating half a bag of chocolates because you hate everyone and everything does not a healthy habit make. Also, you should click on ova to Shapely Prose and watch this video IMMEDIATELY. Hahahahahaaaaaa! Fucking yogurt. *sigh*
4 Comments
May 22, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Only HALF a bag of chocolate? Where’s your commitment, your stamina? I wouldn’t have left any of those suckers behind.
Maintaining isn’t easy and it isn’t something that just runs along smoothly. You don’t step on the scales every week and go: “Great. My weight hasn’t changed”. You can have days, weeks or even months where you go completely MENTAL, eat everything in sight and blow off your training sessions. Then you have to buckle down and lose those 20 pounds that attached themselves to your butt. Oops. That happened to me last year – BUT…. a big mental shift had happened. I realised that it was “only” fat. No big deal. Carrying that extra fat didn’t mean that I was stupid, worthless or a lost cause. It just meant that I was human and that I’d made some mistakes, but nothing that couldn’t be undone.
THAT was a huge revelation for me. I think that I’ve really nailed this thing now. I’m not naive enough to think that I’ll never ever gain weight again, but I do know that in the long-term, I’ll keep making progress in the right direction.
I’m crossing my everything for you!
May 22, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Oh – and the yoghurt video? Hilarious.
My husband eats shitloads of yoghurt. Does that make him a woman?
May 23, 2008 at 11:02 am
Hey there!
Don’t worry about the chocolates. Seriously. I know that’s something coming from me, but I know in times of stress I go back to “I must eat perfectly and do massive reconstruction on my body”. Instead of , I dunno, dealing with the real problem.
It’s an old fall back. Like eating perfectly and exercising perfectly are going to solve all problems.
Sh*t there are people who would probably kill to have that chocolate to eat.
Shoot, you do live a healthy lifestyle. You probably eat better than most people out there and you exercise in a manner that works for you.
Fitness is not about size. It really isn’t. When I was emaciate people thought I was so fit.
Ha! Ha! I couldn’t even do 10 pushups on my knees. When I actually DID get really fit, no one thought I was…why? Because people are stupid.
Now the constant mindset of “must lose X% bodyfat by X date” has taken it’s toll on me.
Guess what? I’m freaking hurt. No high impact and no heavy weights for awhile. I realized how much I abused my body by undereating and constantly pounding it with exercise.
Yet, the only time I think I abused myself was when oh, I ate “off plan”.
I was also mentally abusive to myself and now I’m paying the price for it physically.
This down time made me realize how much of my day was spend thinking about food, agonizing over food, beating myself up over what I did or didn’t eat, planning fitness plans, doing fitness plans, hating my body. Sh*t. There’s a whole other world out there! How self absorbed I was thinking that what I was doing is normal?
There are people starving, living in horrendous circumstances and I’m whining over my ass? Or burning off every calorie ever eaten. Or making sure I get my protein in.
Long story short, you are healthy. You’re the healthiest woman I know. Rock it.
Kek: Lady, I wish I knew you a few years ago. The comments from you are the best things I ever read–well, aside from Sara’s entries…;)
June 5, 2008 at 7:25 am
[...] maybe not) that so far my body has handled this pregnancy exactly the same as the last one. Take this post, for example. Somewhere in the archives of my old blog, I remember writing something about [...]